The name’s Salty, and this one goes out to all you stinky camp gremlins.
Listen, I get it. You’re “embracing nature.” You “love the dirt.” You “don’t care how you smell.” Cute. But the second your tent starts to smell like a locker room at a wrestling tournament, everyone else cares. Camping hygiene isn’t optional—it’s survival.
Here’s the gear you actually need to stay clean-ish while roughing it—available on Amazon, because you shouldn’t have to smell bad and wait 3–5 business days.
🚿 1. KIPIDA Solar Portable Shower (5 Gallons)
Why It Works: This thing lets the sun do the work. Fill it up, hang it, and enjoy a warm shower without needing a generator or mountain spring.
Salty Says: 5 gallons of dignity in a bag. Get clean, you filthy animal.
🧽 2. Combat Wipes ACTIVE (Biodegradable, Unscented)
Why They’re Essential: These aren’t baby wipes. They’re tough, unscented, and actually designed for outdoor use. Plus, they won’t wreck the environment.
Salty Says: You may not shower every day, but at least wipe like you tried.
🚻 3. WolfWise Portable Pop-Up Privacy Shower Tent
Why It’s a Smart Choice: This privacy tent offers a spacious interior, measuring 47.2″ x 47.2″ x 74.8″, providing ample room for showering, changing, or using a portable toilet. Its pop-up design allows for quick setup and takedown, and the silver-coated fabric provides UV protection and privacy. The tent includes a mesh top for ventilation, side windows, and storage pockets for toiletries.
Salty Says: “If you’re tired of wrestling with flimsy tarps or giving the forest a free show, this tent is your ticket to dignity. It’s like your own personal outhouse, minus the stink.”
💩 4. Camco Portable Toilet (2.6 Gallon)
Why You’ll Thank Me: It’s a game-changer when the nearest “restroom” is a tree. Leak-proof and low-profile enough to carry without looking like you packed your whole bathroom.
Salty Says: For when digging a hole just feels like giving up.
🧼 5. Sea to Summit Pocket Hand Wash (50 Leaves)
Why It’s Brilliant: Tiny, soap-infused leaves that dissolve with water—perfect for washing your hands without hauling a sink. TSA-approved too, for you over-preppers.
Salty Says: Clean paws are always in style, even if your boots aren’t.
🚿 6. CORE Instant Camping Utility Shower Tent with Changing Room
Why It’s a Top Pick: This two-room privacy shelter sets up in under 60 seconds thanks to its pre-attached poles. It features a dedicated shower area and a separate changing room, providing convenience and privacy. The tent includes H20 Block Technology with 1200mm water-repellent fabric, fully taped seams, and a rainfly for weather protection. Additional features like towel bars, storage pockets, and a mesh roof for ventilation make it a comprehensive solution for maintaining hygiene in the wild.
Salty Says: “If you’re looking to elevate your outdoor cleanliness game, this tent is your ticket to a spa-like experience in the wilderness.”
🧻 7. Portawipes Coin Tissues – 100 Pack with 2 Waterproof Cases
Why It’s a Game-Changer: These compressed towels expand into full-sized, durable wipes with just a splash of water. Made from hypoallergenic, biodegradable material, they’re perfect for camping hygiene. The included waterproof cases make them easy to carry and keep dry until needed.
Salty Says: “If you’re still lugging around bulky toilet paper rolls, it’s time to evolve. These coin-sized wonders are the Swiss Army knives of cleanliness—compact, reliable, and ready for action.”
🐾 Final Washdown:
You’re allowed to be rugged—but not repulsive. Don’t be the reason no one wants to share a tent, car, or even the trail with you. Get the right hygiene gear, use it, and stop scaring away wildlife (and friends).
Camping doesn’t mean ditching basic cleanliness. It just means packing smart—and maybe sacrificing your ego for some wipes.